Ladies and gentlemen, friends, followers and fellow oddballs, those that I have met and those that I have growled at only from afar, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you the one and only Mr Moussaka …
Finally, it is my turn.
A little about myself, I am a small chap with a big heart. Personality wise I am Speedy Gonzales meets Eddie Izard. Looks wise I am a bit of a dead cute teeny ginger spaniely type mutt made last thing on a Friday night when someone asked ‘what shall we do with the leftovers?’, ta da … ME. A comedy trouser hairy legged / eared mutt bag with a couple of extra toes, double jointed legs and a girls tail. Oh, and I have Tourette’s. History is history and maybe we will cover that at some other time, but right now let me tell you life is pretty pukka my friends.
Mr Moussaka Monthly #08/18
August in England. Holiday time. Yep I have been on a holiday. Me and my three legged big brother, Mr O, have been on an epic adventure. Who would have thought that two reprobate homeless canine refugees would end up holidaying in Hampshire in a converted horsebox aka Betty the Bedford. Barking some may say but there we were.
Betty was amazing, secluded, peaceful, disabled access for Mr O and oh, so many smells. Deer poo, badger poo and my favourite, bird poo. Yet Betty was surrounded by upgraded bird poo, uh hu, bird of prey bird poo, Betty the Bedford, a truly remarkable fine dining experience.
Speaking of which, in true holiday style we ate out a lot and here is my own personal trip advisor recommendations on the hostelries which we albeit too briefly frequented:
- The Seven Stars. Top notch menu. We had a choice of chicken or burger. Mr O went for the burger whilst I was keen on the chicken. Trouble was the burger was on the floor and the chicken was ‘rare’ and pecking the said burger.
- The Thomas Lord. Classy joint, you could tell by the locals, a long-legged beaut of a Weimaraner which Mr O took a fancy too. I was a little put out to be frank.
- The Stag Inn. BEST PUB EVER IN THE WORLD. Even though I have only been to three.
(Footnote to point 3. Long story short … Thank you Mrs Landlady Auntie Jane, Mama says best advice ever, and I say sorry for Mr O’s behaviour, it’s just his thing.)
Talking of Mr O, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, that enigma grumpy grown up puppy, a little secret between you and me, Mr O is a fraud.
The rules of Betty the Bedford, dogs must be kept on leads the whole time. Ummm, we were for about 10 minutes, but we are good boys and listen to Mama and Papa. We chilled out on the decking and only wandered about with the parents. Until twilight. Me, now I am a good boy (apart from sleeping on the futon, it said in the details it was a pull out bed for a small extra guest … I am small), oh and indulging in my second fetish (number one is eating bird poo and the other is licking feet). Now Mama and Papa slept in a bunk and when they got up in the night I would happily jump off the futon for the smaller guest and start licking their feet as they climbed down the ladder … turns out this is not appreciated at 3am on a trip to the bathroom. Who knew. Back to my brother, Mr O. On not one, but two twilight moments Mr O spotted something of interest. Occasion number one, a deer friend. A little history, Papa built a ramp so Mr O could easily hop in and out of the patio doors at home. Turns out Mr O can hot 3 foot it down a flight of rickety wooden steps and run like the wind, for some distance, in pursuit of the aforementioned deer friend. Occasion number two, Mr O took up hare coursing. Turns out he can leap from the decking and run like a greyhound out the traps after a hare across a newly furrowed field whilst forgetting the magic command of WAIT being shouted very loudly by both Mama and Papa as they hurried to find shoes to put on as Mr O disappeared yet again into the sunset. Now we are home Mr O is thankfully back to his old self, a bit of sniffing and a sit down every 100 yards, he only has 3 legs after all. But before we returned we did of course have a little summer romance with a pair of very pretty Labradors!
I am now 200 words over my limit, but life is exciting. If you got to this point then I just want to let you know I am a happy boy and holidays are marvellous. Thank you dog rescuers’ everywhere.
Editor’s comment: My sweetie dish needs refilling.
CEO’s comment: Tonight I am in the dog house because of ‘an incident’ and Mr Moussaka was the hero of the day, more of that another time.
Mr Moussaka (coming soon)
Share the love